The easy life

Men have it made. Everything is tailor-made for simplicity when it comes to them, and life in so many ways is a breeze. I'm not talking about childbirth or child rearing here; no, I'm referring to the everyday, mundane things they do.

Hubby came home yesterday looking so handsome, showing off his new haircut.

"They massaged my scalp, washed my hair and cut it. And they put product in it. Smell," he said, bending down a little. "And it was all for $15."

As a woman, I'd be scared to get a $15 haircut. And no way I'd expect them to throw in a massage, wash, cut AND product. No, women's hair, like so many other things, requires a complexity of styling tools, techniques and products of its own, so you can't expect to pay any less than $40 in your average trip to the beauty shop.

Clothes, too, for men are a snap. They've got a measurement on the waist, a measurement on the length, and boom, any store they walk into they can find pants that fit. If they want a Polo shirt, it's either S, M, L, XL or XXL, depending on the size of their gut and the width of their shoulders. They can order stuff online, and it fits. They have one shoe size. One underwear size.

Women on the other hand, better not even think about not trying something on, no matter what size they think they wear. My size varies depending on the store I'm shopping in (0 at Ann Taylor, 2 at Lerner, 4 at Old Navy, 6 at Cato, for example), and that's on a good day; at some places, nothing in the store will fit me.

Then there's the whole "fat clothes" and "skinny clothes" thing. I won't even go there, but y'all know what I'm talking about.

[sigh]

I would say it's not fair, but we do have an upside. A major upside, that makes up for all of it, IMO. He he ... we've got variety. No one cut fits all women. We can do so much more with our hair. Our clothes (even boring work clothes) can be sexy, classy, matronly, business savvy; whatever we're in the mood for. There are so many color and style options that we have that men could never get away with.

Our clothes cost more, they're not made as well, but by God we're pretty. :)

How do I explain death?

OK, she knows what death means, from losing pets and, more recently, her grandfather. But how do I really explain to my 5-year-old the finality of it all? What's worse, how do I explain to her how her aunt took her own life?

The questions came a few days ago, when we were en route to visit family. Out of nowhere, she started crying. I asked her why, and she said she missed Pawpaw. She didn't understand why we couldn't go visit him in heaven. I tried to explain to her that his body was in the cemetery, but that's not really him. Papaw's spirit, his soul, is in heaven.

"Everybody dies," she said. "But you have to be really old."

No, I told her, you don't. My sister, who she did not ever know, died at the ripe old age of 25. My daughter sure didn't like that (she's heard me talk about my sister before, but I guess she assumed she was old?), and sure didn't understand when I told her how she'd died. How do you explain suicide to a 5-year-old? I will never understand myself why, and I certainly don't want my daughter to think that's an option.

I did the best I could, but I don't think either of us was satisfied with the conversation.

Today, I e-mailed my oldest sister, and she's trying to help me out. Her daughter was 5 when our middle sister died, so she's crossed that bridge. Her advice:


On why: I told her that Aunt Pennie was very unhappy about some things in her life, even if we didn't know what they were. She didn't want us to know. She decided she just couldn't live anymore. Her question was didn't she love us though? Didn't she know it would make us sad? That was hard to answer. I told her yes, of course she loved us and she loved you very very much. She didn't want you to know the sad things in her life, she only shared the happy things with you and us. I told her I was sure she thought it would make us sad, but that she knew we loved her and she could only hope we would be understanding. I told her that Aunt Pennie thought she did what was best, but that I didn't agree with what she did at all. That she should have talked to someone about her problems. I also threw in that I would not do anything like that. (There is NO easy way to explain this to a child)

On how: I told her the truth. ... That was the hardest part to actually say. She was sad about hearing it, but she asked and I just told her. I think we were riding in the car when I told her all this. You could see she was deep in thought about it.

•••

No, there is no easy way to do this. Wish me luck.

ingrate?

Santa may have taught my daughter a bad lesson. I'm still weighing the results of this one, and wondering if I did the right thing.

We were in the bookstore the other day, and she saw a cute little white bear she wanted, with a red scarf. It wasn't a very big stuffed animal, I'd guess maybe 12 inches tall, and its price tag said $20. I thought that was a little much, so I told her no. Well, she threw a regular fit, stomping her feet, saying she never gets anything she wants and trying to run away from me.

After I dragged her out of the store, I let her have it, telling her she most certainly does get what she wants, all the time. She has nice clothes, a room full of toys, her own TV, a drawer full of movies to watch, video games, a bedroom all to herself, etc. I told her she didn't know what it was like to wear siblings' hand-me-down clothes, or to not have the money for new toys. And when she does get something nice, it's not because she's entitled to it, but because someone thought enough of her to give her a gift.

"I will not have an ungrateful child," I told her.

She stuck that lip out, and didn't say anything else.

Two days later, I was buying groceries and saw a similar white polar bear with a red scarf on the Christmas aisle. This one was only $5, so I bought it and hid it. When Santa came, he'd gotten her the My Little Pony set she wanted, some finger paint, a stocking full of candy and ... the stuffed bear. Guess what she went for first?



She's been toting that thing around ever since, lording it over me with this "Ha, ha, you wouldn't buy me the bear, but Santa did!" attitude. And I'm wondering now if I should have gotten it for her. First I tell her she can't have everything she wants, then she gets the one thing I lectured her over. Am I sending her the wrong message?

Catching up

Christmas, so far, has been very nice. I drove home this past weekend and saw my best friend from high school who now lives in New York, and her mom and aunt. I haven't seen her in a few years, so it was great to catch up. The last time she saw my daughter, she was a toddler. She's tall for her age, but that was compounded by the time that had elapsed.

"You've got a child," my friend told me.
Yes, indeed I do. She's certainly not a baby anymore.

To make this weekend even better, my parents came to visit last night, on their way back home from visiting family in Texas. They brought my niece, too, and all spent the night with us. I'm no Betty Crocker, but I got up this morning and made a pan of biscuits, scrambled eggs and sausage, and peeled and divided a couple of naval oranges. We enjoyed the spread on our new dining room table (first time we've used it), then we exchanged a few gifts.

When I left for work, my daughter and niece were playing in a lovely pink Barbie pup tent, and someone had stuck a blue ribbon on my daughter's head.

"Hey!" She hollered, when she caught her reflection. "Who did this to me?"

•••

She's fired up about Santa Claus coming tonight, of course, but we're also looking forward to celebrating midnight mass. If I really think about all the chaos of the season, it's easy for me to dislike this time of year. There's the angry mob— er, um, I mean crowds of shoppers everywhere you go, all the rich, rich food, fooling with decorations, money, money, money, all the travel and just the sheer energy it takes to pull it all off.

But tonight, I hope we're able to slow down and really focus on why we have the Christmas season. Tonight is Christ's mass. It's the celebration of the greatest gift we could ever receive. Think about this; an almighty God loved us (as imperfect and disappointing as we are) so much that he gave his son to us. He allowed his only child to come to earth for our undeserving sakes, so that we would have a chance at everlasting life. Talk about miraculous! Just the thought of anything happening to my child brings tears to my eyes; I can't imagine what a sacrifice it would be to not only send her into an alien place, but to do so knowing the brutal result. Just think about that for a minute.

Merry Christmas, everyone. I hope Santa is good to you, I hope you are able to spend time with the people you love and, more importantly, I hope God blesses you this season.

six years

Driving to the office tonight, the moon was so huge in the sky. It must be a full moon, or if not, only a day or two off. It hung there, a little higher than the horizon, with the most beautiful pale pinks and blues beneath it. Strange, I thought, for it to be a full moon at Christmastime. Usually, you associate the full moon with abnormalities. Bad abnormalities. Like a spike in crime or, in mythology, werewolves. Hardly the stuff of the most wonderful time of the year.

But, as it's been every year at this time since 2001, my heart has been heavy the past couple of days. Six years ago Friday, my sister took her own life. She was only 25 years old, but for reasons I'll never understand, she felt like she could not go on living. And six years ago today we buried her. There's nothing quite so cold as a cemetery, two days before Christmas.

I wish so badly that she was still here. I wish my daughter could have known her aunt. I wish my brother-in-law had his wife back; I'm sure they'd have had a family by now. I wish she could have finished nursing school and started a career she'd have loved, helping people. My sister was a beautiful woman, but her most endearing trait was her heart. She was honestly the most compassionate person I've ever known.

When I saw that moon tonight, I wondered if she was looking down on us this holiday season. It sounds hoky, but sometimes I feel like she's with me. And I don't know, maybe she is — if only in my memories.

soulja baby

Imagine my surprise when, Saturday morning, my daughter just burst into song and it was this song:



She knew all the words to "Soulja Boy," and even "Soulja Girl." I'm guessing her friends at school are singing this around her. I don't know. I thought it was kind of cute. She doesn't know the dance, though ... yet.

Evil eye

sugar rush

What a party!

Two dozen or so kids dancing, playing musical chairs, eating all sorts of confections ... it doesn't get any better than that. And the teachers are happy; today's an early dismissal day so the kids went straight home (or to daycare) after the festivities.

The teacher had gift bags for all the kids, with framed pictures of each of them with Santa, and other things. And she got all sorts of presents from the kids in return. She really is a good teacher, too, and my daughter just loves her.

My daughter had a good time, too, except when she tripped over the (full) garbage can, knocking it over and spilling punch on herself from a cup someone had thrown away. Bless her heart, she was so embarrassed. Hubby took her home and got her some fresh clothes before taking her to daycare. :)

After the party, I came away with three dozen cookies, a dozen cupcakes and a big cookie cake. I've carted it all to work with me, and I hope my co-workers will help me out!

tired girl

I'm running around in a frenzy this morning. We went out to eat last night, and I had planned on going to the gym, getting gas and getting the last few supplies we'll need for my daughter's Christmas party at school today. But I had been cold all day long, probably starting when I got wet walking into the office, so I was just going to lay down for a few minutes so I could get warm (you know where this is going, I'm sure). The next thing I knew, it was 5 o'clock in the morning. Nothing I needed to get done had gotten done, I'd slept in my makeup (yuck), and it was time to get going with Friday.

To make matters worse, my daughter was dragging this morning. And I mean, it was bad. She knows the routine — get up, get dressed, brush teeth, make her bed, pick up the dirty laundry, put on her coat, get her bag and run out the door. But somewhere around step three, she decided she'd rather play for a while. So instead of taking, oh, two minutes, 10 minutes after I'd told her to brush her teeth she was still in there lollygagging. I had to lay the hammer down, which put everyone in a bad mood and woke up hubby. Amidst the chaos, we managed to leave the house on time, but Haley didn't get fed. Hubby must have put him out last night, because he wasn't in the house this morning.

What a morning.

On a brighter note, hubby called while I was at the gas station and said he'd stop by the grocery store and pick up the last few things for the party. He's going to the party, too! I've got a gift for my daughter's teacher, but it's not wrapped, so I asked him pretty please to get a gift bag and some tissue paper. Maybe while we're in the neighborhood, we can run back by the house, feed the cat and start a load of laundry.

I've got a feeling this is going to be a long day. I'll try to post this afternoon with a rundown of the kindergarten Christmas party. :)

party time

Despite the heavy rain, I sent my daughter to school this morning in her pajamas and bathrobe. Today is pajama day, the first of two days they're having parties. On the note in her backpack, it said there will be a pajama parade today, so the kids can show off their pjs.

Tomorrow is the big party, with all sorts of fun. I've contacted as many other parents as I can get in touch with, and we're bringing cupcakes, chips, etc. I got her teacher a Christmas tree earlier this month, so the room is all decorated. This is going to be so much fun. Hubby and I are both going to go on our lunch breaks and enjoy the festivities.

•••

The closer it gets to Christmas (only five days?!?!) the more Christmas music they're playing on the radio. This used to annoy me to no end, but something about having children makes you appreciate holiday songs, even if it's just Randy Travis asking how to wrap his heart up for Christmas.

•••

It's raining, it's pouring, and my paltry little rain jacket was no match for the elements. My shirt is wet around my shoulders and neck (yucky) and my pants are wet from where water ran off the jacket. Hubby called this morning and I relayed all this to him. He called me a soggy bottom girl. LOL

Happy Thursday!

Bully update

Just an update .. I talked to the lady at the daycare tonight, and she said she makes a special point to watch the kids at snack time — for that reason. She said my daughter tends to give all her snacks away, and they have to tell her to stop.
"No, honey, if you give it all away, you won't have any to eat," she says.

It's one thing to share, but she takes it too far. I'll talk to her about it. The lady said my daughter has even given away her dollar a time or two.

on the block

It's nice to have hubby back. He spent the past few days on a hunting trip to the northernmost part of North Mississippi, and came back with stories to tell. While they were there, he and a co-worker went to a rural auction house between Walnut and Ashland, and good times were had by all.

"They had three boxes of Quaker instant oatmeal, for $1," he said. "It was great. They had things like cake platters, toy cars, power tools. We bought stuff."

For $3, he came home with two pocket knives. He bid on a 5-gallon bucket, but when bids got higher than $2.50, he'd reached his cut-off. The highest amount paid for anything was $9, for a knife sharpener. He was not too terribly impressed with the auctioneer, but apparently the guy was married to the lady cooking burgers in the concession stand. Whenever she'd see something she liked, she'd holler, "I want that!" from the back of the room, and the auctioneer would place bids on it during the auction.

"I spent $3 and had $100 worth of fun," he said.

I don't know if there are any auctions like that around here, but he wants to go back. It was like a big old, interactive yard sale, with all kinds of junk for sale.

The Biggest Winners

Have to say I'm happy with the outcome of "The Biggest Loser" last night. The twins, Jim and Bill, took home both big prizes. And you know, they really deserved it. Not only did they lose the highest percentage of weight, but they just seemed to "get it." That's one thing I love about this show. It's not cosmetic changes they're going for; they're trying to get people to change their whole lifestyle so that they'll be healthy, not just pretty. Kudos to all of them.



And... I'm kind of glad it's over. Now I can reclaim my Tuesday nights. :)

•••

I don't have a bully update today. Hubby picked our daughter up from school yesterday, and he said by the time he got there, the only daycare center worker he could find was the teenager who works there part time in the afternoons. It's crazy there in the evenings when all the parents are in and out, and kids are coming in from the other building and leaving to go home. I've called twice today and they haven't returned my messages yet (which is really starting to disturb me. What if this were an emergency? What's going on here?).

Hubby did talk to her, though, and reinforced what I'd said. There is nothing wrong with sharing, but if you want to eat your food, eat it. If it's yours, it's yours and you don't have to give any away if you don't want to. Don't let people take it from you. You've got to protect what you've earned (she gets that money for making up her bed in the mornings).

When I pick her up tonight, I'm going to hunt somebody down at the center and we're going to have a talk. We haven't had a problem with the center so far, but the more I think about this situation the less I like it.

old Jackson

One of my friends from college, Will, who I haven't seen since college, is in town for the holidays and we were able to catch up today at lunch. I didn't know it, but his family is "old Jackson," so part of our lunch was a driving tour.

I've lived in Jackson before, but it was while I was a Millsaps student, and I really didn't take time then to learn about the city's history or its people. And now, even though I work at the newspaper, I still don't know much about the city. During lunch, he talked about his uncle, the former Jackson Mayor Russell C. Davis (sound familiar? his name graces the Planetarium today).



While he was mayor, he welcomed phone calls from city residents to hear their issues and concerns. His hands were so big, Will said, that they'd swallow yours in a handshake.

He told me about what it was like here when he was an elementary and high school student, and how things have changed. When Northpark Mall opened, it pulled development — and tax dollars — northeast, out of Jackson proper, and it's never been the same.

We drove through Belhaven, and he pointed out a lovely old home where his grandmother had lived. We talked, too, about Eudora Welty's house and we both agreed that Suzanne Marrs, Miss Welty's friend and confidante, was one of the most difficult English professors we'd had at Millsaps. As we made our way back to South Congress Street, he pointed to a corner office building near the Governor's Mansion where his father used to work.



I enjoyed seeing Will again. And I realized I'd been remiss in not learning more about the city where I work. I'm going to make it a point to find out more about life here, and the way things were.

Bully ... again!

Looks like we've got another problem at school. I wondered if that bully kid was picking on my daughter again, and it turns out I was right. Only, I don't think it's the same kid. And I think it's more than one.

As reward for making her bed every morning, I give my daughter $1. That's her snack money at the after-school place. But she told me in the car this evening that when she buys her snacks, the other kids take it away from her. That's bad enough, but I think the problem is bigger than just meanness.

"It's OK to share, but that doesn't mean they can just take it from you," I said.
"But they do," she said. "[Other kid's name] always takes my snack."
"Well, does she ever share hers with you?" I asked.
"She doesn't have any," she said.

I think these other kids are hungry, meaning, I don't think their parents are giving them snack money. This is a bad situation, but it's sad, too. I don't want these kids going hungry, but I certainly don't want them ganging up on my daughter and taking her food! I'm going to talk to the ladies at the after-school place and tell them to keep an eye on these kids at snack time. If they can identify which kids are going hungry, maybe they can have a talk with the parents. This is getting out of hand.

Small town

I'm a hick. I'm hopeless. Small town Mississippi, that's me. Can I just add that I'm glad we're raising our daughter in "the big city"?
[sigh]
One of my 15 first cousins sent me this, and I had to share. How you knew you grew up in a small town:


1) You can name everyone you graduated with.

2) You know what 4-H means.

3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or in the middle of a dirt road. On Monday you could always tell who was at the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the woods when the party was busted. (See #6)

4) You used to "drag" Main or better yet cruise "the square".

5) If you said the "F" word - your parents knew within the hour.

6) You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers, because you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't.

7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents anyway.)

8) When you did find somebody old and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to smoke them.

9) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your buyer dropped off for you..

10) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.

11) The whole school went to the same party after Graduation.

12) You didn't give directions by street names but rather by references. Turn right by Nelson's house, take the first left after that spot where Jimmy's Mom hit that cow, and it's two roads down on the left by the high school.

13) You couldn't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

14) Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.

15) The town next to you was considered "trashy" or "snooty", but was actually just like your town.

16) You referred to anyone with a house newer than 1955 as the "rich people."

17) The people in the "big city" dressed funny, and then you picked up the trend 2 years later.

18) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or the town diner.

19) You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends driving a grain truck to school occasionally. (Sandi's addition: "You also know how to drive a tractor.")

20) The gym teacher suggested you bale hay for the summer to get stronger.

21) Directions were given using THE stop sign as a reference.

22) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people would pull over and ask if you wanted or needed a ride.

23) Your teachers called you by your older siblings' names.

24) Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents.

25) You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID.

26) The closest McDonalds was 25 miles away (or more).

27) There was no mall.

28) It was normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.

30) Most people went by a nickname.

31) You laughed your tail off reading this because you know it is true, and you send a link to everyone who lived in a small town.

What the holidays mean to me

Thanks to Julie for passing on this quiz, What the Holidays Mean to You:

What The Holidays Mean to You

For you, the holidays are about emotional connections and bonds. You are happiest being around those you love. You celebrate the holidays in a minimalist style. You are likely to only give one great present and decorate your house with a few special items. During the holidays, you feel happily busy. There's so much do to and not a lot of time to do it. But you enjoy every minute of your holiday chores. You think the holidays should be decadent and indulgent. You never mind gaining a few holiday pounds... it's worth it! Your best holiday memories are warm and intimate. You remember special moments more than gifts or parties.

What Do the Holidays Mean to You?

It's a very short quiz, and I'm not sure how accurate it is, but it's heartwarming nonetheless. I do love the holidays, mainly because I get to see my family again and reconnect with them all. It's so hard to do that otherwise, since we all live so far apart.

Gift-giving is nice too, but only if some thought has gone into the gifts. You can tell who knows each other best based on what they give each other. For this reason, I hope I don't get a bunch of gift cards (unless, of course, it's for my absolute favorite stores). I want to pick out presents for each person based on personality traits, memories we've shared together or if it's the one thing I know they'll want but they'd never buy on their own.

I can't believe Christmas is almost here, either, but I can't wait. Happy Holidays, everyone. :)

Like pulling teeth

Normally, my daughter wants to be a "big helper," and I can get her to help me out around the house. But lately, it's all I can do to get her to do anything. She knows that if she makes her bed every morning, she'll get snack money for school. And lately, she's wanted to eat the school breakfast, so if she picks up her dirty laundry in her bedroom and bathroom, I'll buy her breakfast.

But beyond that, nothing.

Her best friend, the little girl who lives down the street, spent most of the day with us yesterday and came back again this morning. That's fine, but they left a HUGE mess in her room, the living room and dining room. I had to just stay on top of my daughter to make her do a thing, and she was crying and fussing the whole time. I've tried counting to three (which has ALWAYS worked), I've tried grounding her, I've tried spanking. But she's so bullheaded! Contrary to popular belief, I'm not the maid around here. I don't want to be the big meanie, but she's got to learn to clean up after herself.

If she doesn't get off her duff and do something, I'm going to hit her with the triple whammy — spanking, grounding her from TV and not letting her friend come over. I hate to do it, but this kid's getting on my last nerve.

Picture meme

Stole this one from Stacey. For every question, I typed the answer into google images, and this is what popped up.

1. Age I'll be on my next birthday:



That's right. I'm hitting the big one. I'm going to be OLD.

2. Place I would like to travel:



Ah, Brazil. And specifically Ipanema. :)

3. Favorite food:



Just kidding. I eat enough of this stuff, but my favorite has got to be:



Lindt truffles. And also,



Green tea, though I prefer mine cold.

5. Favorite animal:



Aww.. What a dorky-looking cat! Not anywhere as cool as my Haley. :)

6. Favorite color:



Jubilee yellow. I painted my bedroom this color when I was a teenager. :)

7. Town I was born in:



Oxford, Miss. This fellow is one of its most famous (former) residents.

8. Name of past pet:



Yes, I had a dog named Salty. He was my favorite. We also had Snoopy and Fred.

9. Name of past love:



Y'all could tell from the first question that I was a child of the 80s. Give me a break.

10. My first name:



Yes. I share my name with Annie's dog.
[sigh]

11. Bad habit I have:



I keep trying to cook. You'd think I'd have learned by now.

12. My first job:



I was a soda jerk at a drug store. And it looked a lot like this place, with the big mirror and all. But I didn't have to wear a goofy hat.

13. Grandmother's name:



She's pretty, but this isn't my grandmother, Vera Mae.

14. College major:

Hogs need homes

There are two new animals at the Jackson Zoo:



Aren't these the funniest looking pigs you've ever seen? Here's some info on little Frodo and Yoda:

Red River Hogs are native to western and central Sub-Saharan Africa and also on the island of Madagascar. They are red brown in color and with a distinctive white stripe running down the middle of their backs. They also have white whiskers and long pointed ears with tufts on the end that they shake to make them appear to be larger than they are to intimidate predators.
Red River Hogs also have two overgrown teeth that protrude out of their mouths as tusks, ideal for upturning soil and searching for soil. Red River hogs are omnivores. In the wild they eat a wide variety of foods including roots, fruit, seeds, grasses, nuts, fungi, and insects, as well as some small mammals.


But that's not the best thing. Frodo and Yoda are looking for good homes! So if you're looking for a last-minute gift idea for someone on your list, call (601) 352-2582.

("Dear Santa, I've been good this year. Please don't bring me any pigs...")

Liquor AND beer

My sister called me yesterday with the news ... our home county passed an ordinance allowing the sale of beer. I don't know why I thought this was so funny.

Well, yes I do. For years, you could buy liquor in Yalobusha County, but not beer. You could get drunk off the hard stuff right there at home, but you had to drive to Panola County to get a beer. It always seemed so silly to me. (Mom explained it to me, though. The liquor allowance went into effect when the Yalobusha County Country Club opened. Get it?)

But now, you'll be able to get whatever alcohol you want. In a special election on Dec. 11, 66 percent of voters said they wanted beer and light wine. It passed in every voting precinct but one, mom said.

Leading up to the election, there was very vocal opposition to the beer resolution. Signs were up all over the county (my folks had one in their yard), and all the churches were against it. Yalobusha County is a pretty conservative place. I was surprised when I heard it passed, and really surprised when I heard it passed by 66 percent. Wow.

Horrors of Christmas!!

A co-worker sent these to me (click on the pictures to view the larger version):











...and my favorite:




Oh, lordy ... I'm hurting I'm laughing so hard.

Critters

Most of the e-mails I get from MDOT I just delete. But this one I want to share:

According to the Mississippi Department of Transportation, during the months of October through late January, deer are more active during this time of year than ever. MDOT urges motorists to take precautions while traveling on Mississippi highways to avoid deer-vehicle collisions.
As the deer population continues to increase, motorists can expect to see more of them on Mississippi highways, which will cause more deer-vehicle collisions. Last year there were approximately seventy (70%) percent of deer-vehicle collisions. According to the National Safety Council, during the year 2003, there were more than 100 deaths and 10,000 injuries due to animal-related accidents.
Nationally, about 500,000 deer collisions occur on U.S. highways each year, causing an average of $2,000 or more in damage per vehicle.

Be careful!!
These aren't just numbers on a page. If you've ever hit a deer, or know someone who has, you know what I'm talking about. My sister-in-law hit one a couple of years ago and it caused $1,400 worth of damage to her van.

Mississippi has an inordinate amount of two-lane highways, so if you're traveling this holiday (and your family lives in a rural area, like mine does) don't drive fast and pay attention to the roadsides. Deer will dart out in front of you and you can't always swerve out of the way!

Losing it

I've been known to hide things from myself, but it's so frustrating this time of year. It's the holidays, so I guess that's license to lose my mind. Right?

...

A couple of months ago, I went shopping for my mother-in-law (she asks for the same thing every year, so I knew what to get her), bought the gift and brought it home. Piece of cake, I thought. Well, I started looking for it Tuesday, to get it all wrapped, and couldn't find it anywhere.
It wasn't where I left it, and it was no where in the house.
I looked everywhere.
It was gone.

So yesterday, la de da, off to the store I went and got her another one. And naturally, when I pulled out the wrapping paper and ribbons, I stumbled across the lost gift.
[sigh]
Now I don't know whether to return the second one or give it to someone else on the list.
(I wonder who in my family doesn't read my blog? hmmm...)



•••

I'm concerned about my daughter. She's 5, and doesn't usually have a problem with bladder control (awake or asleep). But she had an accident yesterday afternoon, and when I woke her up this morning, she'd wet the bed. It's been a looong time since she's wet the bed, and I don't remember her ever wetting her pants and the bed in less than 24 hours.

I'll talk to her teacher and see if something's going on at school. She's been making 100s on her tests and has been on green more often than not lately. But you never know. She's had trouble with bullies before.

So far behind...

Is it just me or is Christmas REALLY getting here quickly? I've gotten the bulk of my shopping done, but there's still some left to do. I'm here tonight trying to get some of this stuff wrapped. We finally got the tree positioned where it's supposed to be this past weekend. And I'm sending out the last of the Christmas cards tomorrow.

Sheesh...

When I was a kid, Christmas took its sweet time getting here. Maybe I'm just getting old and slow.

addict

It's official. I'm an addict. I knew this would happen when we got DirecTV. For years we didn't have cable or satellite or anything, but we got DirecTV on a lark ... and now there's two shows I'm absolutely addicted to.

[sigh]

The first isn't so bad. It's "The Biggest Loser," and its season is about to draw to a close. Good thing too; I'm pretty much worthless on Tuesday nights. The second show, though, is syndicated, and I've been watching old episodes on TBS. Don't you just love "The Office"? Oh, Lord, I was just rolling last night when they showed the episode where they were getting their employee ID cards.

The funniest line came after the photographer took Dwight's picture, and he refused to smile. When asked why, he said:

"Showing your teeth is a sign of weakness in primates. When I see someone smiling, all I see is a chimpanzee, begging for its life."


BRHAHAHAHA...